...like youll never understand....

2009-11-27T23:34:00.002+08:00

life suck..i have no freakng idea wat i want in life...ive been given to chance to turn my life around and i blew it plus embarrased myself.wish i could normal again.no one understand hw its like to be in my position..now i hafta bear all the consequences of e biggest mistake ive made in life...i wish i cud kill myself...bt i dun even have de guts to do so...if i dun pay up, ill get locked up...and tats exactly wats gonna happen...arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!shit!!...if only i cud turn back the hands of time...im suppose to passout as a police but im gona end up being arrested by a police....FUCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!im always blaming others for every issues tat i had to deal with but this time i finally understood tat i am to blame for evryting that...if i cud aplogise to evryone that ive hurt or disappoint i wud..guess its not gonna happen eh?...ive got 2 bottles of bleach with me,n if i dun see no hope for me,then i guess ima ne hfta to drink it....ITS ALLL MY FAULT!!!!!!!!!!

2009-02-22T14:15:00.004+08:00

So i was getting a lil antsy waiting for my squier stracoustic to arrive.....Sooo went to a guitar shop at parklane n got my myself a new lefthanded acoustic guitar!!!!!!hahhaa..no big deal ,coz it cost less than a 1000..here it is...

2009-02-05T23:28:00.002+08:00

So todae was the worst day ever..hangout wit sum frens and tiz makcik gave me one never-ending lecture on how important education is...bla bla bla....den she went on and on abt smoking...arghhh!!!..aniwae,80% of it fall on deaf ears..
haha...coz while she was blabbering,i imagined her singing some sentimental hindi song...and, it seriously seems like it when u observe properly on her
lips movements and her nasal voice...Then went back home,and my mom caught me sheeeshaaaa-ing....wtf!!!and worse of all she threaten to call de cnb
coz she tot i was smoking some pot..and once again...got a never-ever-gonna-end-till-next-year lecture from her...and this time round,i imagined her singing some
sum acdc song...at first it was more like back in black,den it went to decode and ended with hotel california...Aniwae this ppl are just wasting their time
and energy tryna put some sense into this head of mine coz im stubborn and nuthin can change that...im too stubborn to not be stubborn...So ears tired,eyes tired,
mind all over e place..i tink i need 7 days of sleep..aite ltrz

2009-01-25T11:33:00.000+08:00

maynn i jus wanna squeeze him like a chicken....and i bet hes not human...

2009-01-10T21:27:00.006+08:00

is this the cooolest shit ever or what????!!!!!!!!!!!.....haks...bod it frm a fren..
at 1st,he was like "there is no way that i m goona sell it away",but after much persuasion,he had to giv in...haha...NOBODY SAYS NO TO AISHAH!!!!!!!!!.....n btw its not a toy guitAR...its a 100 percent real battery operated electric guitar.....aite ltrzz

2009-01-04T12:35:00.002+08:00

Maynn cant believe its another new year,and im gonna be an official adult soon...So u noe wat it means!!!i can legally drink(not dat im an alcoholic),watch m21 movies,get the gst money cpf crap,ermmm... vote?,n best of all....i am not under the watch of my parents anymore(doesnt make any diff really)..

So to summarized 2008...i...
1)got a job in aetos as an screening officer at airport where i got to noe alot of international frens(especially thais)..
2)ended a 6 year relationship
3)had my last trip to bkk
4)parents got separated
5)resigned n got myself into nyp, without even thinking
6)withdraw from nyp
7)rotten at home for 3 mths n still counting...
8)gotten myself an acoustic n electric guitar and a keyboard

So technically speaking,my lifes a mess,i dont know what i want in life anymore...i am n had always been a quitter..i dun care abt the future n stuff..But one thing s for sure...im sure of the things that enjoy n spend the rest of my life doing in life...imane be 21 and nobody can tell me what i can or not do..alrite ppl...wish u all the luck for 2009...

2009-01-01T11:47:00.001+08:00

i wanna live alone in a jungle and just die......

2008-12-30T22:51:00.002+08:00

2008-12-28T16:16:00.003+08:00

So xmas presents tiz year sux...lolz...im still waitin for my nike watch and why does evryone got me chocolates...aniwae best present is e 50 bucks i got frm my step uncle cannon n worst was 2 lollipops...n ya,another is an obsence D***** that i got frm this weird fren of mine which i m gonna donate it to sum sex maniac...These are some of the stuff left...overall,amount of presents was ok,considering e fact that i only had to buy a cheapo wine(frm NTUC) for dat small party we had....hakz...

2008-12-22T22:32:00.005+08:00

So check this out...i dont need to pick a fight with anyone anywhere anymore....cozzz....i just got myself a punching bag....wooohoooo...n believe me,if ur a martial art practicioner and have nt been training for mths,youll definately haf this uncontrollable urge to kick or punch something or someone in the face.huhu..anyway...3 days to christmas..n sumone promise me a nike watch(better make sure u buy arh!!!!!!)...alrite ppl!!!ITS TIME TO KICK SOME ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!yeah like real..

2008-12-21T20:53:00.004+08:00

So just came back from e singapore turf club...i wasted 30 bucks but won 14 bucks back on race 4....maynn those horse can really gallop...btw i only bet on those light n aggressive looking ones...n of course,those jockeys whom i imagined,were staring at me...lol..i love it when the crowd went wild when e horses were at the last few metres of the race..alrite ppl..

2008-12-13T14:56:00.008+08:00

i dun noe wats gotten into me...saw tiz guitar last nite...its got 24 frets annnnnnnddddddddddddddd.......its BLACK baby!!!!!so here it is....ma new baby!!!hakz...n yah...bod tiz tuner too...

n to azzy,dil to pagal hai,shimino ayumi hamasaki,sabrina de teenage witch.......i wud to apologise to ya ll for promising and not making it on last thurs or fri..haks...aite laterz...

2008-12-08T07:54:00.003+08:00

hahakz...so here it is...a new guitar fer me..lovin it!lovin it!lovin it!....bod it last nite at bras basah...burn a pretty big hole in ma pocket but wad de hell...its made of quality wood n has got a wide neck for better fingering...i actualli try playin it b4 before buyin n maynn,evryone there can really play...i look like a freakin idiot there laa...aitez

2008-11-30T12:15:00.000+08:00

kay first of all....i didnt fight against the urge to splurge when i bod thesssssseeeeee....hehhe

So ya ll noe wat to get me on de 25....second hint....lonsdale or nike....

n second of all,im still comtemplating or whether or not i shud sell my keyboard n get a better one or just buy an acoustic guitar...n take it from me...if u wanna buy sumthing for yerself,dun go ard asking ur parents or an one older than u for advice...its always de "same -old -ure -wasting -ur -money -shit".hmmm...lets juz wait n see wat happen on de 5th...

2008-11-26T00:22:00.002+08:00

im gonna get sum money next week....wooohooo!!!..n i dun care wat my mom s gonna say,,im definately gonna buy another guitar!!!!haha...ppl really haf a big problem with me buying stuff...1st the keyboard now this!!!they seriously need to leave me alone man!!...AND another thing...i really need to sound-proof ma room...tried evrythin sey...still dosnt work...irritaitng sakkk.....arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............

2008-11-25T22:53:00.006+08:00

hakz..just sum pix i took at ma workplace..hoho..i seriously need to get a life......

2008-11-23T21:42:00.015+08:00

So zoo was fun...did a little crazy stuff...saw hippo fucking....burn a BIG hole in my pocket when i paid for 3 adult tix....had a lil fight wit 1 of the staff....but overall,it was worth it coz i kinda like animals...

ATTN:look carefully!HIPPO FUCKING...HAKZ.

middle child syndrome...

2008-11-16T19:53:00.002+08:00

So just read an article frm e internet..maynnn!!its fucking god damn true laa..im not exaggerating but evryting that i am think and evrything dat is happening is evrything in this article..haha...so to all middle or second child born...this might explains evryting abt u...

The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling. Being in the middle a child can feel insecure. The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child. Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things.

Being a middle child would mean they are loners. They really don’t like to latch on to a person in a relationship, there fore they have trouble keeping one due to lack of interest. Not liking to take the limelight for anything, they are not over achievers and just simply work enough work to get by, and typically that goes with school as well as a career. They are however very artistic and creative. If forced to use abilities they will work well, but do not work well under pressure. They often start several projects but rarely keep focused long enough to finish a project. The best career move for a middle child would be along the lines of using their creative. Going into a writing or journalism career, and into a career that they could freely express themselves would be good. Anything that would have hours that are flexible, and projects that frequently changed would be good for a middle born child. Since relationships are not of high importance to a middle child, often times they are alone. However, the best possible match for a middle child would be a last born.

2008-11-08T14:18:00.011+08:00

So life is good again cozzzz.....i got tiz baby..wooohoooo!!!

still not sure how it really works...but already did a couple of songs..mostly hip hop and wierd-sounding rap...but wtf,you dun haf to make it in de industry to make music..fucking awesome laa coz this baby can plays all kinds of musical instrument...i spend almost evryday with it so dun really haf time to get a real job...lolz...like who cares...i just just hafta satisfy the needs to be happy..PERIOD!!...aite ltr

passion comes first before anything else....

2008-11-02T22:33:00.002+08:00

kay big fight...family totally messed...some dumb asses just wont understand...they are already dumb n theey wanna things harder by being sarcastic and egoistic....cant take it...they ve said it and i ma get out of here..not giving any clues...so relieved that im not schoolin anymore...all i need to do right now is centred myself and get as much money as possible....not taking in any nonsensical stuff from dem...ive got brain n i m sure i can survive...stupid,dumb,bodoh,crap,egoistic,no life,uncivilised,dumb, bitches.....why cant i be like aybody else..they should just die and rot in hell...

2008-10-31T13:30:00.002+08:00

another show again ltr...decided that i was gonna come at 3...hakz..i dun know what they re gonna say but yeah....i dun giv a fuck..its a cool job but i can juz rip off all of the heads of the bitches and little devils over there..dey say i shud start wearing jeans to work..and yup...im not gonna to...who wears a proper clothing in this line of work aniway...and i realized something...drama people are REALLY DRAMATIC people...lol...gotta get ready now...aitez ltr....

2008-10-31T00:44:00.002+08:00

ahhh...finally back from singapore reperatory theatre...maynnn!!!those kids can really test my patience...wonder what their parent teach them...i hate this job...i swear to god i wasnt gonna go back to this line of job...fuck laa,dun noe wat happen...aniwae things got worse with the mama bitches.Firstly they ve got this very "step" face,n when they start talking,nothing nice comes out...bloody %6$#$^&*8&*&...irritating sak..evrybody there cant stand them...why do all rich muthafuckas hafta be egoistic,demanding and rude...someone needs to step out and set the records straight to them sia....finally get to get this all out...kay daa satisfied...

2008-10-29T00:20:00.002+08:00

ahhh..i just ma new blogskin...anyways..life is so different when ure no longer a student..haha..super weird sey..its like having a long term school vacation..i dun wanna get a full -time job just yet..reason being,im not mature and responsible enough.i think i ll just take things real slow.nothing s gonna happen to me if things are rushed,so im better off living life as it is and not expecting too much from evrything...rite...i wanna live to do things that i wanna do and not what stereotypes tells me too...i may not know exactly what im gonna be in the near future but i sure know what i really love to do in life...Anybody who tries to stand in da way...needs to fuck off and let me live my life...im not living off my parents anymore,so i definately hafta get myself a job..wonder how that s gonna work out???haiz...aite

B4 21...

2008-10-28T19:40:00.000+08:00

B4 21.....

1.get my tongue pierce
2.stay in another country for one mth
3.PHUKET!!!!!!!!!!!
4.learn thai n mandarin
5.really learn e guitar
6.buy a piano
7.get bike license
8.get a stable job
9.settle in my own apartment

Confusion leads the way.....

2008-10-18T19:42:00.000+08:00

So i figured if im gonna have tis whole fresh new life thing,i should delete all of my previous posts..hakz...kay i made that up...getting all the withdrawal letters signed thing is finally over..So.. im officially out of nyp....im freaking messed up right now...so whatever decision i make from now on is entirely out of my strongest instinct,intuition or whatever u call it...I hate decisions...im never good at it..So im gonna stop thinking and just do IT...i dun ever want to work hard for anything..i noe this sounds a lil crazy but its has SORT OF been working for me...becoz preety much evrything that i work hard for doesnt come true...i dun ever hafta worry abt anything man..im gonna live life like there is no 2moro..ANNND.....ive list down a couple of things that i wanna do b4 21...n ill save it for ma next post...aighttt...